LUNE SPIRITUALITY
In my work as a spiritual director, the focus is on a person’s spiritual life. But many do wonder – what exactly is a spiritual life?
It’s a simple-sounding question, but a lofty one. There are plenty of books and groups and articles with a prescription for a spiritual life. But, as confirmed by a recent Pew survey of spirituality among Americans, it’s impossible to answer this question in a single way. The survey found that while seventy percent of Americans consider themselves spiritual, the experience or interpretation of what it means to be spiritual varies widely across that seventy percent. Some associate spirituality with religion, others don’t. Some associate spirituality with God or a higher power, others don’t. Some believe animals or crystals carry spiritual energy, others don’t.
Essentially, so long as you are inclined toward a spiritual life, it’s up to you to discover what it is or means for you.
However, since that doesn’t offer much specificity, perhaps a better question to start with is why a spiritual life matters. What is the purpose of a spiritual life?
Here I offer an answer to ponder.
The purpose of a spiritual life is connection in three directions – toward mystery, toward self, and toward others.
A few thoughts on these three:
Mystery
The beauty of the word mystery is that it indicates something unsolved. There are many who are tempted to believe and act as if they have “solved” God or a Higher Power or nature or science, and that has done much harm to many people. Yet, by cultivating a connection to mystery, we leave space for what is yet unsolved or unanswered, and we relinquish our compulsion for complete control, learning that it is an illusion This cultivation orients us toward humility, which is well-described as the full embrace of our particular gifts and limitations. It also orients us toward a sense of awe and wonder, which tend to inspire feelings of gratitude, inspiration, and even love.
Self
Despite the popularity of self-care, connection to self is hard-earned. There are many demands that pull us in multiple directions, ample opportunities for mindless distraction, and enough collective anxiety to keep us buzzing for a lifetime. If we want to cultivate a connection to self, we have to be incredibly intentional. We need to discover which activities or practices help us connect to our self at a deep level, to the part of us that is just us – not our partner, our parent, our sibling, our child, or any of their expectations or projections. By cultivating this connection to self, we get in the habit of honoring and acknowledging what is most essential and true about us. This often orients us toward healing work because what is most core to us may be hidden, suppressed or rejected – especially if it hasn’t aligned with pop culture, family expectations or societal norms. Engaging in this healing work tends to orient us toward loving-compassion as we increasingly welcome and care for the most tender and sacred places within us.
Others
With digital media at our fingertips, it has become easy to mistake being connected with true connection. What does it feel like to be truly connected with another person? When I think about the space that exists between two people experiencing connection, I imagine that space as safe, open, flexible, and warm. There is a mutual willingness to show up in imperfection and speak truthfully, even and especially when the truth is hard to admit or say out loud. In this sense, cultivating connection with others starts with cultivating the ability to know and hold our own story (with all its happiness, sadness, anger, fear and pain), so that we can know and hold the story of another. One of the most impactful experiences we can have as a human is to be fiercely loved by another at our worst moment, when we feel the least lovable. And the ones who offer this to us are often those with whom we have mutually invested our time, honesty, and emotion. In cultivating connection with others, we tend to learn how to love and be loved in both the beautiful and awful things of life.
If the purpose of a spiritual life is connection in the these three directions, the outcome is most certainly meant to be love. Regardless of spiritual identity, cultivating connection to mystery, self, and others – at its best – leads to a deeper and broader experience of love.
A spiritual life is subjective. But at least one way to think of it is as connecting deeply inside and outside oneself, and in the process, learning how to meaningfully experience, receive and offer love.
