When I pressed into my ideas of community, the first image in my mind was the Central Perk Cafe from the 90’s sitcom, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. My first feelings were warmth, gathering, and comfort around familiar people with laughter and drama. Everyone acted in the same way, never changing, and some part of me found deep comfort in that.
– I hate conflict and will turn myself upside down to avoid it
The energy of blame is interesting because it seems irrefutable from the perspective of the one-who-is-blaming.
This time, I was the ‘other.’
Through my experiences and pondering, I realized that I hold a lot of expectations when I enter new communities which serves no one.
However, when I entered like-minded communities for a very specific reason – like the crypto education and social tokens virtual community – the experience was very different. I wasn’t there to be liked or make friends. This difference was because I knew why I was there – to learn, have discourse, and share.
Part of this liberation comes from redefining strength and power within the Self. We are taught power dynamics in relationships, so judgments and expectations and the need to ‘get something out of this’ makes sense here. When I had weaker boundaries and was more in a place of people-pleasing, I would mute myself, give my power away and then be resentful and bitter for doing so; alternatively, I would overcompensate and not let anyone else get another word in.
We only engage in power-play when we believe we are limited in it. The game is on when you have power, and I want it, so I have to take it from you, generally in an argument or even during a silent treatment.
But this isn’t the world we play in now. At least, it doesn’t have to be. A connection formed from the heart that continually honours the human journey has an entirely different set of flavours.
If so, we welcome it in gratitude and press to evolve it further.